Est. MMXXVI{{ today }}Final Edition · Price 5¢
{{ today }} Est. MMXXVI · Final Edition · Price 5¢
The .com Funeral Home & Obituary Desk

Dot Com Is Dead

The internet’s first funeral home for premium renewals, expired dreams, and one-word names listed at $49,999 with zero inquiries. Not anti-.com. Anti-delusion.

Generate an Obituary Roast My Domain Visit the Cemetery
Department I · The Obituary Desk

Pronounce Your Domain Dead

Certificate of Domain Death
Form 404 · County of the Aftermarket

Pronounce it dead to generate the certificate & obituary. Press again to reroll the cause of death.

Department II · The Recovery Ward

The Copium Meter

Select every phrase currently living in your sales thread. We will measure the damage and recommend treatment.

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Diagnosis: {{ copiumLabel }}
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Department III · The Accounting of Grief

Renewal Regret Calculator

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Statement of Grievous Loss
Total surrendered to registrars
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You could have bought instead
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Domains sold this period: 0 · Inquiries: pending
Department IV · Peer Review

The Appraisal Roast

Submit a domain to the Forum’s most seasoned appraisers. They have valued everything. They have loved nothing.

Type a domain above, then summon the appraisers.

OFFICIAL ESTIMATE — {{ roast.domain }}: {{ roast.appraisal }}
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Re: Appraisal request — {{ roast.domain }}

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▲ {{ rp.likes }}  ·  Reply  ·  Report

These appraisers are entirely fictional. Their accuracy, tragically, is not.

Department V · The Séance

The End-User Excuse Generator

Commune with the spirits of the aftermarket. They will explain, with total confidence, why your name is worth five figures.

☾ ✦ ☽
The spirits have valued your name

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Fair market value: {{ excuse.val }}
Department VI · The Grounds

The Public Cemetery

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Lay a name to rest in the public graveyard. Every burial is permanent and joins the wall below for all mourners to see. Tap any stone to visit its grave.

❦ Freshly Buried
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Department VII · Correspondence

Write to the Funeral Home

Condolences, confessions, or a serious inquiry on a dearly departed domain? Leave a note and we shall rise to answer.

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We only use your email to write back. No lists, no selling, no séances — satire only.

A Public Service Announcement

Dot Com Is Alive?

Obviously .com is not dead. But some portfolios should be. Pay your respects, drop your names, and remember — it’s dead… until someone offers you mid five figures.

.com is dead. Long live my BIN. Where premium names go to explain themselves. Every domain deserves one last appraisal. For domainers who know what they have.
Follow @DotComIsDead
Generated by DotComIsDead.com · No domains were harmed. They were already worthless.
Satire, with love, from one domainer to another. All appraisals fictional, all valuations imaginary, all inquiries pending. Not affiliated with any registrar, forum, or the five stages of grief.
DotComIsDead.com
Department I · In Memoriam
In Loving Memory of
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R.I.P.
Cause of Death
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DotComIsDead.com · The .COM Funeral Home
Now Resting in the Public Cemetery
Rest in Reg Fee
R.I.P.
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Obituaries · Deaths & Drops

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Age at death
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Asking price
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Renewed
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Lifetime traffic
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Survived by
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Interment
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Report to the Sexton

Report a Grave

Flag a headstone that is offensive, spam, or shouldn’t rest here. The Funeral Home will review it.

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The Funeral Home Regrets to Announce
A Burial is Held
Preparing the ceremony…
The Cemetery
Drag to look · Right-drag or WASD / arrows to move · Scroll to zoom · Click a stone
Summoning the dead…
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Visit grave →